At the tender age of six, Terry Axe and her mother and sister were living in what she recalls as a happy and loving home. One night, after being kissed goodnight and tucked into bed, Terry was startled to realize that there was an intruder in their home. With great fear, she watched as her mother was brutally stabbed to death by a man she had never seen before. After savagely attacking her mother, the man turned on her older sister and murdered her as well. Still in shock from what she witnessed, she realized that now the man was coming after her. For some reason, he put aside his knife and instead of trying to kill her in the same way, he picked up a pair of Terry’s leotards and wrapped them around her neck. Terry lost consciousness and remembers nothing more of that tragic night.
When she awoke her world had changed. Her mother and sister were gone. Terry had to be placed in a witness protection program to protect her from the murderer, and could not even go to live with her father or other relatives. Terry eventually was able to testify in court and the criminal was sentenced to prison. She continued to live with a foster family for several years. Finally, her father, who she had only known slightly, was able to gain custody and she moved in with him. But the drama in Terry’s life was not over.
At the age of 11, Terry had a best friend that she played with and visited frequently. One day, her friend’s brother took her aside and threatened her with a knife. Terry was shocked to realize that she was about to be raped. With no adults around to protect her, Terry endured the violent act with horror. Although she was told that if she told anyone she would be killed, Terry went straight home to tell her father.
What should have led to criminal prosecution ended in a simple “slap on the hand” for the
young rapist. Although her father was dismayed at what had happened to his daughter, he was fearful that another barrage of court proceedings would be too much for the young girl, and with that rationale the matter was dropped.
For Terry, this was too much to bear. Her life began to spin out of control. By the time she was in middle school, she was drinking heavily and smoking marijuana. In high school she had become sexually active, living a life that was searching for love and peace in all the wrong places. Her guilt and regret were with her always. Crying herself to sleep at night, Terry asked the question, “Why? Why was my mom taken from me at such a young time in my life? Why did I survive? Why did God leave me here to go through this pain and suffering?” These questions consumed her life but she found no answers.
Finally Terry decided that a change of scenery would help. She packed her bags and moved to
But Terry’s questions and prayers were heard, although she was unaware of that at first. She met a man at her workplace who invited her to visit church with him and his wife. Although she can’t remember exactly what the sermon was about that day, she remembers feeling hope for the first time in years, and she also rememb
ers feeling a love that was different that she had ever felt before. As the Christian couple drove her home, she shared with tears her need for God. Terry began studying the Bible, and finally found the love of God that filled the deep hole in her heart.
After becoming a Christian, Terry’s life was changed forever. She was so thankful to have a relationship with God and with true Christians. However, some of the questions of “Why?” still surfaced again and again. Even during the trial of her mother’s murderer, there were no clear answers as to why he had invaded their home and killed her loved ones. The questions and ambiguity of the situation haunted her at times. She wanted answers but they were not there.
Finally, after much prayer, study of God’s word, and help from disciples, Terry was able to come to peace about the unanswered questions in her life. She realized that suffering is in this world because of sin. But she also came to the conviction that God worked and continues to work through suffering to bring her to Him. Suffering brought her to her knees and caused her to cry out to God. Terry also learned that God went through suffering – letting his only Son die on a cross for her sins – to show her that God understands her pain.
Although Terry’s early life was filled with violence and pain, her life now is one filled with glorifying God. Terry is a natural “nurturer” and loves others deeply. She is able to feel deeply for the sins and sorrows of others. She is also able to point others to the God that saved her and gave her eternal life. Terry loves the promises of Romans 5: 2 – 5: “We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…” Terry’s life serves as a reminder that no matter what, God is available to help, comfort, strengthen, and ultimately bring us all to eternal life!
Terry is a member of the Northern Virginia
If you have stories of courage and encouragement to share, please send them to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., meghna.thomas@dtoday.net, or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
